What is it with women and tough questions?

Every man knows that at some point his wife or girlfriend is going to ask him some really tough questions: "Does my bum look too big in this?" or "Does this dress make me look fat?" She's going to ask these questions and chances are quite good that he isn't going to know how to answer him. After all, the question is a trap. Isn't it?

Here's the deal, guys. Your wife's question has absolutely nothing to do with her bum. It doesn't relate to her figure or in any other way to her appearance. She is asking you how you feel about her.

I know that this might come as a shock to some men. But let's face it, gentlemen: If she wanted to know what she looked like in that dress, she would have asked one of her girlfriends. They are more likely to be honest with her and less likely to upset her. No indeed. What she is asking you is how you feel about her.

Every woman that I've ever known intimately had a little girl inside of her. Inside, she's the little girl pirouetting for her father, dancing in a pink tutu and asking him "Daddy, do I look pretty? Tell me I look pretty! Daddy, watch me!"

Your wife or girlfriend wants to know that she has your full attention, and that you have eyes only for her. She knows, perhaps instinctively, that men are visual creatures, and she knows that out there in the big wide world there is a lot of competition! Your wife or girlfriend wants to know that to you, she is special. She wants to know that she is yours .

Be your wife or girlfriend's mirror. I'm sure that there are plenty in your house, in the bathroom, maybe on the back of the bedroom door. But those mirrors are different. You need to be her mirror.

When you tell your wife or what you see in her, over time she will begin to reflect back to you what you see. If you tell her that she is beautiful she will become beautiful. The more beautiful she feels she is in your eyes, the more likely she is to take the time to make herself even more beautiful and fit. If she feels that you genuinely appreciate her and see her as lovely, she is more likely to work out and to stay in shape, and you will often see an adjustment in her attitude towards you as well.

If you mirror back to her confidence and her own beauty, she will show that to you on the outside, too.

First of all, don't clam up. Not only do women hate this particular behavior, but it shows her that you are being defensive, and that is the wrong thing to do when faced with a sensitive question! Be easy, be casual, and go to her. Move to her, and unless she's paranoid about something getting crushed (her dress, her hair), take her in your arms and hold her. Show her affection, no matter how you feel about the dress in question. Even if your wife or girlfriend weighs two hundred pounds and is out of shape. Hold her and reassure her of your life.

Tell her that you love her. Tell her how beautiful she is in your eyes. Tell her that she is the most beautiful woman you have ever met and that you can't take your eyes off her.

Chances are you can't see the difference in terms of whether or not a particular item of clothign makes her look "fat." But if you think that it does, please be (gently) honest with her. Nothing bothers me more than to realize that I have been wearing a dress that makes me look thirty pounds heavier than I am, and to know that my husband didn't say anything!

The best solution and way to go about this is honestly to suggest to her that she try another dress. Don't criticize the one that she is wearing, but rather suggest one that you know suits her body and her coloring. Help her to choose something that you love. Tell her how it makes you feel when she wears it. Tell her she'll be the belle of the ball if she wears this particular dress.

These types of suggestions soften the blow while also saving her any embarrassment if it turns out in the long run that the dress did make her look fat!